Keep calm and pretend you know what you're doing.

If you need me, I'm in my blanket fort.

My sense of direction is a myth.

I put on my "doing nothing" outfit today.

My spirit animal is a sloth on vacation.

My hair has a mind of its own, and it's not a nice one.

Me and my overthinking are best friends.

I'm not clumsy, the floor just loves me.

Currently accepting applications for someone to do my laundry.

Every day I wake up and choose snacks.

If laziness were a sport, I still wouldn't compete.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

Professional snack taster, amateur everything else.

My to-do list has a to-do list.

The group chat is 90% memes and 10% plans that never happen.

Proud member of the "5 more minutes" club.