Calories? I prefer to call them flavour points.

Life update: I finally folded the laundry. Just kidding.

I'm not procrastinating, I'm prioritising naps.

I can't adult today. Please leave a message.

Water, check. Snacks, check. Motivation, not found.

I tried to be productive but the couch won.

Me: saves money. Also me: sees a sale.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

I don't need therapy, I need a beach and zero emails.

My goal this week: find my other sock.

My hair has a mind of its own, and it's not a nice one.

I have two moods: hungry and sleepy.

Some people have abs. I have snacks.

Me: saves money. Also me: sees a sale.

Proud member of the "5 more minutes" club.

My texting speed is fast, my reply speed is not.