Social battery: 2%.

If laziness were a sport, I still wouldn't compete.

Me pretending to understand the group chat.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

The couch and I have an understanding.

My love language is being left alone with snacks.

My goal this week: find my other sock.

Every day I wake up and choose snacks.

My goal this week: find my other sock.

Did I sleep 8 hours or 8 minutes? Unclear.

Currently buffering. Try again later.

Calories? I prefer to call them flavour points.

Stayed up late for absolutely no reason. Again.

The weekend went by faster than my paycheck.

My love language is being left alone with snacks.

Me: saves money. Also me: sees a sale.