My only marathon is a TV series.

Did I sleep 8 hours or 8 minutes? Unclear.

I tried to be productive but the couch won.

If you need me, I'm in my blanket fort.

My love language is being left alone with snacks.

Here for a good time, not a long time. Especially at meetings.

If laziness were a sport, I still wouldn't compete.

My texting speed is fast, my reply speed is not.

Currently accepting applications for someone to do my laundry.

My goal this week: find my other sock.

Life update: I finally folded the laundry. Just kidding.

My phone is at 100% and I'm at 5%.

My cooking is so good the smoke alarm cheers me on.

Proud member of the "5 more minutes" club.

Proud member of the "5 more minutes" club.

I'm not procrastinating, I'm prioritising naps.