Just vibing until someone asks me to do something.

I'm the reason the group chat has trust issues.

I'm not procrastinating, I'm prioritising naps.

The couch and I have an understanding.

I can't adult today. Please leave a message.

Currently buffering. Try again later.

I have two moods: hungry and sleepy.

Dance like nobody's watching. They're not. They're on their phones.

Proud member of the "5 more minutes" club.

My cooking is so good the smoke alarm cheers me on.

Currently buffering. Try again later.

I'm not clumsy, the floor just loves me.

Me: saves money. Also me: sees a sale.

My cooking is so good the smoke alarm cheers me on.

I need a nap and a new personality.

My phone is at 100% and I'm at 5%.