I'm on a strict diet of whatever's in the fridge.

The group chat is 90% memes and 10% plans that never happen.

I'm the reason the group chat has trust issues.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

Keep calm and pretend you know what you're doing.

Social battery: 2%.

Warning: may start talking about snacks at any moment.

Mentally, I'm still in bed.

Professional snack taster, amateur everything else.

I'm not procrastinating, I'm prioritising naps.

I'm a people person, as long as they bring food.

If you need me, I'm in my blanket fort.

Did I sleep 8 hours or 8 minutes? Unclear.

Every day I wake up and choose snacks.

Some people have abs. I have snacks.

My love language is being left alone with snacks.