My spirit animal is a sloth on vacation.

I'm a people person, as long as they bring food.

Proud member of the "5 more minutes" club.

The couch and I have an understanding.

I need a nap and a new personality.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

I'm the reason the group chat has trust issues.

My texting speed is fast, my reply speed is not.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

The group chat is 90% memes and 10% plans that never happen.

I'm not clumsy, the floor just loves me.

My phone is at 100% and I'm at 5%.

My to-do list has a to-do list.

Currently buffering. Try again later.

Professional snack taster, amateur everything else.

I can't adult today. Please leave a message.