Did I sleep 8 hours or 8 minutes? Unclear.

Currently accepting applications for someone to do my laundry.

I need a nap and a new personality.

Every day I wake up and choose snacks.

Professional snack taster, amateur everything else.

Currently accepting applications for someone to do my laundry.

I'm not late, everyone else is early.

My only marathon is a TV series.

The group chat is 90% memes and 10% plans that never happen.

My love language is being left alone with snacks.

Adulting level: cereal for dinner.

I'm fine. My search history says otherwise.

The weekend went by faster than my paycheck.

My to-do list has a to-do list.

I have two moods: hungry and sleepy.

I put on my "doing nothing" outfit today.