Mentally, I'm still in bed.

I'm the reason the group chat has trust issues.

My brain is a browser with 47 tabs open.

I can't adult today. Please leave a message.

Me: saves money. Also me: sees a sale.

Some people have abs. I have snacks.

Mentally, I'm still in bed.

I tried to be productive but the couch won.

Social battery: 2%.

Let me overthink this and get back to you.

I have two moods: hungry and sleepy.

Me: saves money. Also me: sees a sale.

If you need me, I'm in my blanket fort.

I don't need therapy, I need a beach and zero emails.

My to-do list has a to-do list.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.