I can't adult today. Please leave a message.

Monday called. I didn't pick up.

Every day I wake up and choose snacks.

If laziness were a sport, I still wouldn't compete.

Currently accepting applications for someone to do my laundry.

I put on my "doing nothing" outfit today.

My cooking is so good the smoke alarm cheers me on.

Let me overthink this and get back to you.

I have two moods: hungry and sleepy.

I don't need therapy, I need a beach and zero emails.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

Mentally, I'm still in bed.

Me pretending to understand the group chat.

Just vibing until someone asks me to do something.

I tried to be productive but the couch won.

My favourite workout is running out of patience.